Can't sleep. Need to update this blog. WAY TO LONG.
Recently I got back from the DC Mission trip through FCA. It was wonderful. I walked away with an entire van full of new friends, a refreshment from the Lord beyond words, and an idea of what community is going to look like for me starting in May. Before leaving for DC things were a little dry. I needed this trip. I am very sure that the Lord placed me there very specifically. I think this Blog entry is going to be stream of consciousness. . So hopefully you can follow along.
So there are a group of guys I know that live life together in the closest way possible( that i know of) to what the Bible says Community is supposed to be, and that blows my mind. I love it. I am pumped to do life with Ash, Meghan, Katie, Liz, and Lolly. I told Lauren a few weeks ago on our jog, that I knew the one thing I would never really have here at Clemson was a close group of girls like i did at Pc that would be holding me accountable, and Yeh God blew that out of the water. I can't even begin to imagine what the next year of my life will look like.
That leads me to think about what I was doing this time last year. My roommate often refers to " This time last year". . . and will speak about how differently life is.. Well I was thinking about that yesterday.. this time last year, I was at PC, and to be honest really liked a guy, you could say he was a best friend at the time, and that person, does not play the same role in my life as he did then, which is hard to think about.
I am being way honest with you blogger world. So feel privileged. It pretty much, for sure, scares the crap out of me. I HATE losing people, I hate losing people who are close to me, and maybe I am not really losing anyone, maybe I have just convinced myself that I am losing them.. who knows.. who really knows what all that means.
All I know is, I am not where I used to be, spiritually, mentally, physically, or emotionally. Isn't that insane.. that in just a few months, the Lord can completely take you from point A to Point Z. I am being a little bit dramatic, but hey.. that is how I feel.
I have been super reflective lately. I miss my friends at Pc, but I love my new ones.
I wonder where I will be on March 27th a Year from now. I like to think, studying abroad.. or leading other believers in some way.. not just following. Maybe I will be applying for an internship somewhere with YL or just an Art place. Maybe I will be dating, maybe not. Maybe I will be in a completely different season of life .. AHHH who knows.
I never thought I was one who was scared of change. And I still don't think I am, but I know that lately the Lord has had to remind me that his will is good, and pleasing. He places people in and out of my life at the exact right moments for the exact right amount of time, and I HAVE got to believe that, or else... I get sick with worry that I am losing someone.. So that is my struggle lately, it is being journaled and prayed through don't you worry, but if there is one thing that Keeps showing up year after year.. it is that.. my worry of losing people.
That is way to much for tonight.